The 9th of August marked not only Singapore’s 49th National Day, but it was also on that day in 2004 when I wrote my first entry on my LiveJournal.
On and off in the past decade, it has become the playground for my fascination with music and live acts (from jazz to the Idol franchise), stray travelogues, odes to romance and twentysomething musings on the myth and truth of “quarter-life”. The life of jamypye as I knew it.
And all throughout, I held a sense of wonder at the rarity of my own updates (yes, narcissistic that way), with every post a major and sporadic effort to break the monotony of wordlessness. Yes, something akin to the recent UP men’s basketball win and matching bonfire over the weekend.
For that was the tone I set from the beginning. “Good to hear from you: An attempt at the possible”. An allusion to hearing a song not often played, or receiving word from an old friend. At the same time, holding the optimism that one will, in time, hear from them again.
I’m not sure if it was pretension or false humility that led me to refer to myself from a second person perspective. Well, it did sound better than saying the even more self-serving “Good to Hear from Me”. Most of the time, this journal felt like me talking to myself, which is what writing in a journal tends to be about anyway.
But as life and the years would have it, a twentysomething’s concerns eventually make way for a thirtysomething’s realization that there is more to all of this, than vain attempts at making my voice heard.
What a difference ten years made.
With this life and blogging entering a new phase, I make one small, yet significant change from a lower to an upper case “Y”–“Good to hear from You: Nothing is impossible with God”. And with that, the same title takes on fresh meaning, as with the thrust of my life and words to come.
That there is great comfort and blessing in silencing my own voice and all the internal and external noise, so that I may hear more clearly what God wills. And even as my own thoughts make their way to this blog, they can never be higher than His infinitely wiser thoughts and ways. And I pray this will serve to record His authorship of my life, as the story is revealed in the days, years and seasons to come. Truly, the writing, the living,everything happens through Him, in His perfect time.
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
May I neither become overwhelmed by the enormity of an eternity I am too small to fathom, nor too self-sufficient in whatever earthly knowledge or understanding I have within my grasp. For I would be deluded by such foolish wisdom. Instead, may I listen closely to His voice and trust entirely on His faithfulness that remains unchanged from season to season.
Watching that obstructed view of the National Day fireworks by the Kallang river, with spark and color peeking through silhouettes of trees and buildings, that word Majulah*rang through my head. And so it goes, that profound sense of gratitude for the decade past, and greater hope for what lies ahead.
Onward with this new space.
New seasons, new dreams, and this new heart under renovation.
*Majulah, from Singapore’s National anthem, “Majulah Singapura” meaning ‘Onward’